Formal Introductory Letter
Formal Introductory letter
Dear Prof Blackstone,
The purpose of this letter is to formally introduce myself and provide some background information. My name is Shaun, and I am a first year Mechanical Engineering student. I graduated from Ngee Ann polytechnic with a diploma in mechanical engineering and a minor in business management. Having taken design and technology as an O-level subject in secondary school, I learned to identify design problems. I was thrilled to identify one and come up with a prototype to potentially solve the problem. I came up with a fine motor skill toy that would enable toddlers to safely develop their motor skills. Through this journey, I enjoyed the time spent in workshops building my prototype from scratch and I developed an interest in creating useful items and eventually a passion for mechanical engineering.
One of my strengths in communication is my respect for the person speaking, regardless of who they are. I would always allow the person speaking to finish what they have to say without interrupting, as I find it impolite to interrupt someone while they are talking or not pay attention to them during a presentation. I firmly believe that meaningful communication requires respect from both parties, as this shows that we respect their opinions and thoughts. One of my weaknesses is that I tend to have disorganized thoughts. I often have a good idea of what I want to say, but I have difficulty expressing it in words. When I do express it, it sounds like I am rambling, which leads to unclear delivery of my thoughts.
A goal I have for this module is to try to stay calm under pressure. For example, when giving a presentation to a group of people, I often get nervous, which leads to me not being able to think clearly and have disorganized thoughts. Another goal that I have is to speak with more confidence. I find myself using filler words too much and speaking too fast, which results in occasional stutters. I hope to stop making these mistakes and be more confident.
A trait that differentiates me from others is my ability to think on my feet. I excel in situations that requires quick thinking and adaptability. Whether it is coming up with solutions for unexpected problems or seizing opportunities when they arise, I am able to make decisive decisions in unpredictable situations.
Best regards,
Shaun
Hi Shaun, content-wise, I feel that you have explained all the pointers well (interest in engineering, strength, weakness, goals and personal branding) using PEEL format which makes it clear and concise.
ReplyDeleteIn terms of language, you have a well-varied vocabulary and sentence structures. Punctuations are also well-placed where sentences are neither too long or too short. Good use of gerund that was taught in class too ("Having taken design and technology as an O-level subject in secondary school, I learned to identify design problems").
The whole letter is also structured and organized well where all the pointers flow smoothly with one another.
Hi Robin, thanks for taking the time from your busy schedule to read my letter and provide feedback. I'm glad to see that there are a lot of good pointers, but do let me know if there is anything that I can improve on.
DeleteThank you, Shaun, for this very informative letter. I appreciate the sharing you’ve done in terms of describing your interest in problem-solving and prototyping solutions 'from scratch.'
ReplyDeleteIn terms of the weakness in comm skills that you share, rest assured we will continue to address the areas that you mention in your goals, including speaking wih confidence and without filler words.
Thiks is a well written letter, but there are a couple areas that seem to warrant review:
1. inconsistent use of caps
-- ...I am a first year Mechanical Engineering student. I graduated from Ngee Ann polytechnic with a diploma in mechanical engineering and a minor in business management. > ?
2. issue with verb form and parallel structure
-- ...which leads to me not being able to think clearly and have disorganized thoughts. > ?
3. subject-verb disagreement
-- I excel in situations that requires ... > ?
You mentioneed how thinking on your feet and problem solving are your skills. I look forward to seeing how you develop your project with your teammates in the coming weeks.
Cheers,
Brad